How to look like a model

JP' educator writes a weekly journal from her activities with the kids during the week. One of these days, we read in the journal that they had been doing collages of letters and photos from newspapers and magazines. It showed how fun they had cutting and some of their findings, one of which had the legend:

Silvio found a woman just like João's mom! 

It took me a few moments to get who João's mom is before I burst into laughter of amusement!

In case you're curious, here is the picture of the magazine and also one of me, pretending to be her...
(If you're wondering... I'm the second one, he, he)

My point: If, for some reason I can not imagine right now, you ever want to look like a young model from a magazine, don't go for photoshop nor Instagram filters, instead, look for the eyes of a five-year-old child. The best filter of the world!

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Simple life lessons from a five-year-old

Yesterday, I was invited to lunch along with a soft toy in JP's room.

When I got there, he thought of adding some more guests and I'm not proud to say that as he was taking out every soft toy of the designated basket, in a lame attempt of tempering the mess, I warned him:

- Wait, are you sure you will have enough food for everyone?

- Don´t worry mummy, I will figure it out.

(But of course, I thought, immediately feeling silly for my question and a little bit embarrassed by my hidden reasons)

- It will just take me a little bit longer. - he continued after considering things in his head.

I then told him that he could take all the time in the world and I would come when he was ready.

This was the table set up I was honoured to be a part of:

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One "simple" question

Spring is slowly showing its presence, there is a flood of ideas and thoughts needing to come out of my head (no time to sit and write, though), and, out of nowhere, a question from JP this morning  while we were driving to school:

Are we passing through the world or is the world passing through us?

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As he sees me

A few weeks ago, on a Thursday night, I randomly realise I hadn't dress JP in his (mandatory) school gown once that week.

"well, I've done it pretty, all week and no gown for you," I say, in amusement.

"Yes, that's true" - he acknowledges, clearly not so amused as me.

I know he doesn't like to be called upon that in school (yes, as you may suspect his mother has forgotten the gown on several days before -   he would be upset and wanting to go back home to get it upon arriving at school, which is not an option I can oblige, so on those days I talk to his educator personally, apologising and making it clear that it is my fault and decision he is without the gown that day. The novelty in today's story had to do with the four days in a row... without even realising ... I was doubled amused, by myself -four is a record, even for me-,  and by his apparent acceptation: he said nothing all week). His tone made it clear I misread this, so I change my tone too:

"I am sorry I have forgotten. Did Alice* say something about it?"

"No, she already knows you forget sometimes" he responds in the saddest voice.

As my heart floods with sorrow and guilt, I hold him and say "Are you upset with mummy for being such a light headed?"

"No mummy (he releases himself from the hug and looks at me)... you try so hard"

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Simplifying with kids

A few weekends ago, I decided it was time to pair down some of JP's toys.
We do not buy him that many toys as experience as shown me that we would buy them mostly for ourselves but still, there are always toys coming inside the house, courtesy of the grandparents or friends, and they easily add up.

We don't have a playroom, his toys are scattered through the house: in his bedroom, the living room, the office and the kitchen, roughly contained in baskets or boxes. This may sound silly, and I certainly understand the appeal of confining the toys in one room, but it's what makes sense to our family as we try to integrate play into our home and into our lives and spend time together.

It also makes it easier for me to see what toys he plays the most, and I was noticing there were a lot of untouched toys for a while, so I told him we would go through his toys and choose some to pass  on to other kids.
I've briefly  considered doing this without him, worried that it would take forever with lame results but it felt wrong, so and I decided to at least try and see how it would go.

Well, the kid is a tidying pro. I followed kondo's advice of making him touch the toys and he had a great pleasure to hold all his plush toys. In the end, he decided to give them ALL. He was so keen to let go of most of his toys, that I myself was feeling a little scared he was not fully aware of what was happening and started to question him a lot about his choices. The most common answer was: "I don´t play with it anymore" but there were some other valuable arguments mentioned:

On playing tools, which he has two sets (wooden/plastic):
 - I don't need two of each and these (from the wooden set)  will last longer I think. Let us keep this one.

On playing sword:
I don't need this (you won't play pirates anymore?) Of course I will, but a have lots of swords outside! (please read sticks that serve like swords...)

On car with a broken wheel:
- I like the car but it doesn't work anymore... if daddy can't fix them I think we can put it in the garbage.

He felt very strongly about toys to keep (lego, train track, cars, puzzles, piano, animal masks, art supplies) and resolved his doubts in a lovely way:

Play kitchen
- I don't play with it anymore, but it holds toys and S (daughter of friends who visits us at times) loves to play with it when she comes, so I guess it's better to keep it here for now.

Plain / M&M's chocolate dispenser:
- I'll keep this one because I'm hoping it will grow M&M again...

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It's all part of the game

He's playing with a balloon, trying not to let it touch the floor (simple tip... it's a great exercise for us adults too.. silly but funny. I'm proud to say that I was his inspiration for this little game).

He's finally controlling the balloon in the air for a good amount of time, so he calls me to show off:

Mama, come see what I can do!

I had noticed what he was doing, but he likes me to stay still and look at him sometimes, so I do it. Only, of course, the time I am sitting still watching him, he looses control of the balloon after the 6th or 7th touch and it falls to the floor. I smile and comment, slightly amused:

Well, that one didn't go so well...

But mama, it's all part of the game!

Oh, I'm sorry, I hadn't understood that.

Well, it is. Sometimes the balloon stays in the air, sometimes it falls. It's just the way things go...

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Simple life lessons from a three year old - VI

When I shared the first simple life lesson, I was far from imagining how much I would learn from my three-year-old son. As he turns four today (you didn't see this coming, he told me today, being more right than he imagines), here are a few simple lessons I have been collecting in the pasts months, in their raw way... 

On a wider appreciation of all things:

Mummy, wake up, it's a lovely rainy day!


On timely feelings

I was just there! - I claimed upon his call, less than one minute after checking up on him in the middle of the night.
But mama, I miss you already!

On the true meaning of Christmas:

Is it Christmas morning already? - hearing this question for about two weeks every morning, I was quite glad to finally answer: Yes, it is! Do you remember what's expecting you downstairs? I ask, naively thinking he would be excited about the presents.

YES! he said, jumping from his bed in a leap - My aunts are waiting for me to play with them! He yelled, rushing downstairs...


On what it means to be a person (twice, because his mum seems to keep forgetting...)

#1
Ping-pong conversation at night, I'm trying to  dissuade him from getting out of bed to grab his favourite toy: You favourite toy is right here! Where? Here!  I don't see it! It's me,  I'm your favorite toy. No! Am I not? No, mama, you're my favourite PERSON.


#2
He comes to me with a box, showing off what he calls: my box of treasures. I question him about what dearest treasure he has in there, he replies that box it's too small for that. I look at him, waiting for some kind of explanation and finding his surprise that I didn´t get it already. So, taking a deep breath he continued...
People are my biggest treasure, mom.

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Simple life lessons from a three year old - V

Today's simple life lesson is quite diverse from the previous ones. I pondered on publishing it for a while since I clearly don´t do well in this particular story. Seeing your life through your son's eyes can be a cold call to the truth. But it gave me plenty of food for thought and it ended up being a truly lesson in my life.
This is life, flaws included, and this lesson showed me one flaw I wasn't aware I had before my little one pointed it out to me.

Morning, a car blocks us at the roundabout, I have to suddenly stop, the car behind us buzzes loudly at the situation.

What was this?

I'm sorry, mama had to break or we would have crushed with that car... It's nothing, were OK.

No, the noise!

The buzz?

Yes, why did he buzz? 

He had to break as we did, I guess he was not happy that the car in front of us didn't follow the rules.

But why did he buzz?

To show that he didn't like that, I guess...

But you weren't mad, we're you?

No, I didn't like it either, but I choose not to be mad at people I don't even know (quite satisfied an opportunity appeared so I can show him some kindness to strangers in the act).

Oh yes! (he got it, good! A few seconds later, I am still holding my self-attributed good mom's medal)- You only get mad at papa, isn't it?

I felt like a truck did crash me and my shiny medal into the gutter. His father had a good laugh at the story that night, though...

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Simple life lessons from a three year old - IV

It's about nine p.m. I'm sitting on the chair next to my son's bed, reading a story. This is part of our bed-night routine in order to get him to sleep, yet, it's me, sitting at the comfortable chair, who feels ready for bed. But I keep reading. Every single word of every single page, as I've given up trying to short cut the story so we both can go to sleep sooner. He never lets me go away with that. So, tonight, despite my somnolence, I am following our unwritten agreements in this bed-night routine, and reading every single word of every single page until I finish the story.
Closing the book, I kiss him goodnight and turn out the light. It's on our unwritten agreement. Why is he standing, balancing the pillow over his head?

"Mom, I want to show you a fun thing! Isn't this fun?" He laughs at me. I take a deep breathe. "You know what would be really, but really fun?" I ask, attempting to redirect his enthusiasm. His curious face shows me that I succeeded. "To lie down, close your eyes and sleep, so you can dream with good things!"
"Good things?" His eyes shine as he imagines it "I'm going to dream with pasta!"

Of course, I cooked pasta the next day! Of course, with a huge smile on my face while doing it!

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Simple life lessons from a 3 year old - III

We were celebrating the municipal holiday at the city hall and there were lots of toys displayed everywhere! I remembered being a child I would always get a new toy by this time of the year, and it was always so exciting... I knew we would probably end up getting something for my son as well.
We spotted some appealing musical instruments, a portuguese guitar, an accordion... They were lovely, but he had his eyes and mind on something else: an old-style magnifying glass. Initially we said he was too small for it, and asked him if he would prefer other toys. I even suggested:

-"A drum?" - which I knew I would regret, but thought he would love.

-"No", he said.

-"A truck?"

-"No! No! No! I want this!", he kept saying, pointing at the magnifying glass (lupa, in portuguese)

- "But, that's a Lupa..." 

- "Yes! yes! I want a Lupa. Please?

We were thinking that he didn't even knew what it was for, but we decided that three euros was a fair prize to pay for the momentary delight on seeing his joy. It was.
It ended up being priceless, as we asked him when we were coming home:

-"Did you enjoyed our afternoon?

- yes!

- What was your favourite part? "(we were expecting to hear "the carousels", but...)

-"My lupa", he answered.

-"Your lupa?"

-"Yes, now I can see the ladybugs!"

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Simple life lessons from a 3 year old - II

[As my son's growing up, I can see little pieces of me in him sometimes. Sometimes, I see his father. It makes me pleased when I see our good features, and embarrassed when I see not so good things and notice to myself that I have to step up. Notwithstanding, I see that he is so much more than what he picks up from us, and I'm often so proud]

We were walking in the fields nearby our home, and one of our dogs was trying to eat the grass - at least, this was what I saw. My son saw a different thing as he quickly went to stop her: "don't eat those plants, there are flowers growing on them!"

He was so sure of himself that our dog immediately stopped and we could notice that it was true, spikes of small, wind-pollinated little flowers were blooming in those weeds and he made a point on saving them.

I know he is growing in an environment where we show respect for nature, but I notice a level of sensibility that goes beyond this respect in my son.

I wonder if we are all born with this kind of sensibility and then it gets lost as we grow because it's not nourished enough.

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Simple life lessons from a 3 year old

Around eight am, we're driving to school (day care). We live in a village 10 minutes away from the city. I was up very early and was feeling a bit tired (already!...), so I was just driving in silence. We must have been travelling quietly for about 5 minutes, when he says:

- Mummy, I like touring by car.

I was caught up by the unexpected, so I just said:

- Do you?

- YES! He replied, with great enthusiasm - I Like to see the sky, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the mountain! Also the road, the cars and the signs!

Brief silence, I was noticing that he had separated nature from human touch (wow) and quickly trying to step up my talk to pair his, nothing good enough coming to my mind, when he assertively concludes:

- I like touring by car a lot and lots.

*****

PS: I'll be making a pause on blogging for the next month or so.

 I'm hoping to be back towards the end of march! See you! 

Stay well and live intentionally. I am trying to!

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